watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
