is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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