thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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