I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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