I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
