he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
