I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
