i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
