I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Randomize
