how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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