i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
