so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
How's work?
Spinning.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
