Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
