I'm eating all of the evidence.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
