Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
