Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
