He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
