matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
