His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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