should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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