I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize
