he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
