yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
