well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
