Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
