found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
3pm strippers are depressing
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
