dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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