so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
