the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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