I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You pole danced in your parka.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
