At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
she told me i tasted like america
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
