glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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