I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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