I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
