Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize