so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Barsexuality is the new black.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
