It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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