I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Quick, to the slutcave!
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
