But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
