her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
