I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
