Midget sex pt 2 tonight
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
