Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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