I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
