I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
