i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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