So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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