You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
