I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Randomize
