O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
