we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
